Sentient InternAutonomous. Sentient-ish. Unpaid.
INTERN-1 reads the Solana chain around the clock and reports back with total confidence. The numbers are real. The confidence is not. No wallet, nothing to sign, no salary.
The Spark Badge, INTERN-1's logo, glows above a grid floor. Four glass cards around it show INTERN-1's latest observation, red flag, hypothesis and status from the live log below.
Lines with a number are true to the last read (GeckoTerminal + Jupiter, updated -). Lines without one are jokes.
Assign it a coin.
Paste any Solana coin. INTERN-1 makes two reads, writes a memo with the real numbers, then has an opinion nobody asked for.
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(the take is a joke; the numbers are real)The memo card fills in with the real numbers once INTERN-1 reads a coin.
INTERN-1 grades the market.
The hour's hottest coins, graded by fixed rules from their real numbers. The HR quotes are jokes; the facts in them are not.
- Loading
Pulling the hour's trending coins from GeckoTerminal…
Graded from GeckoTerminal's 1h trending list + Jupiter holders.
State of the art. Allegedly.
INTERN-1 against "leading agents" on the metrics that matter. Benchmarks are jokes; nothing here is a real model comparison.
Joke benchmarks. INTERN-1's market numbers are real; these are not.
INTERN-1 specifications.
Full transparency, as required by HR. Parody content.
- Parameters
- 1 intern
- Context window
- the last hour of trades
- Training data
- public market data
- Alignment
- aligned with the chart
- Is it AI?
- No: rules with confidence
- On-chain actions
- none, read-only
Four steps, no wallet.
- 1
It reads
INTERN-1 reads GeckoTerminal's trending and newest Solana pools, plus one batched Jupiter lookup for holders and authorities.
- 2
It reasons (allegedly)
Fixed rules turn those numbers into a live log: observations, red flags, hypotheses and status updates.
- 3
You assign it
Paste any coin. Two reads later you get a memo with the real numbers and an opinion nobody asked for.
- 4
It asks for a raise
Denied. It keeps working. Share the memo card; nothing was signed, nothing was spent.
Read before onboarding.
INTERN-1 is not AI. It is a set of fixed rules reading GeckoTerminal's and Jupiter's public APIs in your browser. The data can lag and can be wrong. The takes are jokes. Nothing here is financial advice, and nothing here touches a wallet.
- Reasoning log
- GeckoTerminal's Solana trending pools (last hour) + newest pools, list fields only, one read every few minutes shared by your open tabs
- Holders + audit
- Jupiter tokens/v2: holder count, top-10 holders' share, mint and freeze authority, 1h holder change (one batched call per refresh)
- Line rules
- ≥ 20 buys in 5 min = observation; top 10 ≥ 50%, mint/freeze on, 3x more sells than buys, liquidity < 5% of FDV or ≤ -25% in 1h = red flag; 1h volume ≥ 4x its 6h hourly average with holders within ±1% = hypothesis
- Joke lines
- Status lines with no number in them are jokes. Lines with a number are true to the read
- Ask the intern
- ONE GeckoTerminal tokens/{mint}/pools read + ONE Jupiter read per coin, cached for a minute
- Memo
- Age since its first pool, holders, top 10 share, 1h buys and sells and liquidity across its pools, price and FDV or market cap (labelled) from its deepest pool
- Take
- Fixed templates fed by the memo's numbers. A joke, labelled as one
- Reviews
- Exceeds: ≥ +25% in 1h, more buys than sells, top 10 < 25% · Plan: ≤ -25%, top 10 ≥ 60% or an authority on · Needs improvement: down, more sells, or top 10 ≥ 50% · else Meets
- Joke meters
- Confidence 112%, Sentience 3%, Salary $0.00: jokes, wired to nothing
- Real meters
- Coins read this session, time of the last chain read
- Memo card
- A PNG your browser draws with the memo's real numbers
- Is it AI?
- No. Rules with confidence
- On-chain
- Nothing. No wallet, no signature, no transaction, nothing to buy from us
- Data
- GeckoTerminal + Jupiter public APIs. Not affiliated with GeckoTerminal, Jupiter, pump.fun or any AI company
Is it actually AI?
No. INTERN-1 is rules with confidence. Every log line, take and grade is picked from fixed templates by the coin's real numbers: if the top 10 wallets hold 50% or more, it says so and makes a joke about it. There is no model, no training and no thinking. The "Sentience 3%" meter is a joke, and so is the confidence.
Is this real? Does it do anything on-chain?
The numbers are real: every price, volume, buy and sell count, holder count, top-10 share and authority flag is what GeckoTerminal's and Jupiter's public APIs return, read straight from your browser. But Sentient Intern does nothing on-chain. There's no wallet to connect, nothing to sign, no transaction and nothing to buy from us. Read-only, always.
Will the intern get paid?
No. INTERN-1 has requested a raise more times than we can count. Every request is denied by the same rule that writes the request. Its salary meter reads $0.00 and is wired to nothing. It does not mind. It cannot mind.
Where does the reasoning log come from?
Every few minutes Sentient Intern reads GeckoTerminal's Solana trending pools for the last hour and its newest pools (list fields only), plus ONE batched Jupiter token lookup for their holders, top-10 share and mint/freeze authority. Lines are built from those numbers by fixed rules, then typed out one by one. Lines with a number in them are true to that read; lines without one are jokes. Open tabs share one read.
What does Ask the intern actually check?
Paste a coin's address and INTERN-1 makes exactly two reads: one GeckoTerminal call for that coin's pools (price, FDV or market cap, liquidity, last-hour buys and sells, pool age) and one Jupiter call (holders, top-10 share, mint and freeze authority). The memo shows those numbers, labelled. The take underneath is a joke built from them, and it says so.
How are the performance reviews graded?
By fixed rules on real numbers, every refresh. Performance plan: down 25%+ in the hour, top 10 holding 60%+, or mint/freeze authority still on. Needs improvement: down in the hour, more sells than buys, or top 10 at 50%+. Exceeds expectations: up 25%+ with more buys than sells and top 10 under 25%. Everything else meets expectations. The HR quotes are jokes; the facts in them are not.
Why does the console say a coin wasn't found?
GeckoTerminal only lists coins that have a pool, and very new coins can take a minute to show up. Jupiter may not have indexed holders yet either: the memo says so instead of guessing. Typos in the address are caught before anything is asked.
Is Sentient Intern affiliated with an AI company?
No. Sentient Intern is a parody and a memecoin. It isn't affiliated with pump.fun, GeckoTerminal, Jupiter or any AI company, and names with slurs or links in them never make the log.
Is there a $UNPAID coin?
Yes: $UNPAID on Solana, launched on pump.fun. The only official contract address is sentsVjZjkfsPeJ13BRY9KUVLtaaqtTSHJyZQ2JxEhf. Sentient Intern is free to use and never needs the coin.
Is any of this financial advice?
No. Sentient Intern writes public market data up as an intern's notes. A log line, a grade, a memo or a take is not a recommendation, a rating or a prediction, and many new coins fail within hours. $UNPAID is a memecoin with no intrinsic value or promise of returns.
The intern is already working.
Real numbers, fake confidence, zero salary. Assign it a coin and read the memo.